Get on your Soap Box

Staff Writer: Kylah Frazier

    I knew there were going to be a lot of people at the Red Bull Soap Box race this past Saturday but I had no idea that there would be that many people. Later on that dayone of the MCs would announce that there was an estimated 75,000 that showed up. Dolores Park was swarming when we arrived, though I really should have foreseen that when busses packed with people passed us over and over again. The bus situation was so hopeless we ended up having to get a cab. San Francisco has an awesome public transportation system any other day but then a big event rolls around , it doesn’t matter who you are no bus is going to stop for you. Same thing happened last weekend when I headed down to the Warf to see the Blue Angels, I ended up walking from the Westfield Mall downtown to Pier 39 and back again, but that’s another story. 

    Back to the park, we did our best to navigate all the people and find a spot to sit. That was a struggle in itself because there were people EVERYWHERE. There were people covering the grass, there were people sitting on the roofs of buildings and houses across the street, there were even people in the trees. In fact, the trees lining the track were the hottest real estate with as many occupants packed on the limbs as they could possibly fit. We walked up and down the row under dangling feet trying to find one for ourselves before we finally gave up and squeezed in on the lawn. Unfortunately we couldn’t see the track all that well but there were huge screens set up all around the small park (or maybe it just felt small because it was so crowded) so we didn’t have to miss a thing. Watching the screens also allowed us to see our very enthusiastic MCs that we wouldn’t have gotten to see otherwise. I didn’t feel like I was missing much by not being up front. 
    The races were already underway by the time that we got settled in. As we sat down a cart called “The Big One”, a rolling replica of San Francisco complete with its own little Transamerica Building, was coming down the track and I was immediately impressed. I was thinking that the vehicles in this competition would probably be go-carts that had been painted wacky colors with the occasional standout shaped like something funny but I had no idea that so much time and effort would be placed into all of them. These people all obviously knew what they were doing and they weren’t messing around. 

    The carts were being judged in three categories: creativity, showmanship and, of course, speed. Each team was allowed two crashes on the course before disqualification and had to perform a skit before they could push off. Among my favorites was a cart shaped like a giant baseball trailing orange smoke. It was manned by drivers who wore Giants uniforms over muscle costumes. One of the carts was a rotating Death Star whose team included a cross-dressing Princess Leia. Another was a Hamster wheel that four giant red hamsters shoved a lab scientist into to send him spinning down the track. In addition to first, second and third place there was the People’s Choice Award that went to a Rubix cube cart whose drivers were dressed like nerds complete with suspenders and kick me signs. 
The only thing I thought the race was lacking was a prize for most awesome wipeout which team “Breakfast Club” would have won hands down. Two guys, one dressed up like a fried egg and the other like bacon, went flying when the frying pan they were driving hit a hay bale and literally exploded. The pieces went everywhere and the metal axel holding the wheels was the only recognizable piece left. 
I had a blast and it was just all around fun to watch, but I think next year there should be a USF cart, we could probably do some damage whether it be intentional or not.